Couples Counselling – The Marriage Dr
All marriages face difficulties! When I first began couples counselling training there were two assumptions that seemed to be included, firstly that the good marriages went without problems and secondly that when things went wrong, a counsellor could sort it out!
I remember the early days of my training when faced with a couple. Like most counsellors in those days I found this to be the most stressful form of counselling. Well, these days it’s different! We understand that the issues faced in any marriage are part of the marriage and something everyone goes through. Secondly, we have trained in a form of counselling that supports the couple in communication that helps, rather than continue with the old fashioned idea that we can sort you out with our expertise! The main difference these days is that we understand that what is needed is a re-connection between the couple. There is a fracture in the relationship that needs healing.
When we start this counselling we ask the couple to commit to a weekly session of one hour and a half at our counselling rooms as well as ‘homework’ for an eight week period. Below is the structure of the eight week course
Week One
Introduction
Assessment from partners
Introduction to the Imago approach
Turtles and Tigers
The Imago Dialogue
Week Two
The unconscious Marriage
The Imago Dialogue
Changing criticism for frustration
The unconscious Marriage (reading)
The phenomenon of attraction
Week Three
The Imago Dialogue
The Imago Dialogue
The power struggle
The loss of the romantic phase
Shock – Denial – Anger – Bargaining – Despair
Week Four
The conscious Marriage
Reflection on session three
The Imago Dialogue
Feedback and assessment
The unconscious marriage (Homework)
Week Five
Re connecting
Reflection on session four
The Imago Dialogue
The Conscious Marriage (homework)
Week Six
Re connecting
Reflection on session five
The Imago Dialogue
The Parts dialogue
Week Seven
Re connecting
Opening up the baggage
Unmet needs – Lost parts
Protective behaviours
Week Eight
Re connecting
The Imago dialogue
Feedback – what worked what didn’t
Onward strategies and goals