Read more about the A2R approach. What makes it unique and how it can help your recovery!
You are complex If you have been following my work for any length of time, you will already know that this approach turns a lot of medical thinking on its head. The idea of unblending is no exception to that idea! So many of the clients I work with have been trying...
If you have been thinking about attempting to recover from your addictive behaviour, it’s possible that you have not even considered what approach you will be taking. The medical model of addiction has become so prevalent in our (western) culture that you may be...
Not considering your parts may be restricting your progress After nearly forty years working in the field, I am in no doubt about the biggest difficulties you face when trying to make positive lifestyle changes in your life. It is not considering the complex nature of...
Addiction and reverse addiction in filmIt always amazes me when I see art reflecting the deeper things in life, particularly in film. Patterns and themes that can often take therapists years to learn and recognise are often portrayed by artists with no training or...
The pressure to be excitedWe live in a world where we are encouraged from all sides to be excited about everything. This is a part of a cultural shift towards hyping everything. This has become extreme now so that when passing someone the salt we are no longer...
Have you ever stopped to consider the idea of consciousness? And what part it plays in your recovery journey? If you have, you will have been using your consciousness to do it! But what is it? What makes us aware that we are aware? Neuroscience is around a hundred...
A vast majority of the collective is traumatized. It's our secret, unrecognised, epidemic. Trauma extends far beyond the 'big' events. At its core is disconnection from the true self. It presents as depression, as deep lonliness, and anxiety. All of us have healing...
In this piece you will learn what validation is and how it can be problematic when your source of validation is external rather than internal. I will then talk about the connection between validation and recovery as part of self leadership. Let’s go! Definition I want...
In this article you are going to learn about the way addiction develops in a person. How it always starts in the form of ‘reverse’ or ‘mirrored’ addiction. And why some people stay in the reverse position, whilst others develop into addicts. And why we all have the...
Recently I watched a programme on the BBC which had been made from the experiences of one of our most famous footballers, Ian Wright. Although domestic abuse is not my area of expertise there is no doubt in my mind that the trauma of domestic abuse produces lots of...
The ‘observer’ position I want to say something more about one of the key points in this approach. In order to understand, develop and practice my method you must first develop your understanding of what I call the ‘observer position’. Things like a raised awareness...
From survival to flourishingWhether you have been down and out, or what used to be called a 'high functioning' addict, you will have been used to employing some form of manipulation, denial or downright deceipt. Probably a mixture of all the above. These things become...
The Ground Floor - Normal life At this point I will assume that you have a solid and stable foundation. If you do not, don't worry. Try to concentrate on the relationships inside any room that is unstable or weak and allow yourself to know what it is about that...
Okay. So you have looked at the challenges involved in your recovery. You have now considered the most important questions such as cost, location and design. We now need to think about starting the work of recovery. That means building a good foundation. Once we are...
If you are thinking of attempting to get away from your addiction my advice is not to rush into it. Give yourself the best chance you can by preparing for it. I believe that it’s useful to use a metaphor such as ‘building a home’ as a way of understanding some of the...
Now we are going to get into more detail about the idea of ‘cost’. Another one of the ‘big three’ things to consider when building your recovery along with ‘design’ and ‘location’. Most of us get the general idea that things cost and that we have to pay, but what...
Of the three most impotrtant factors when thinking about building your recovery - Design, cost and location. We could say that design is the one I see most often misunderstood, or left out altogether. Remember, if you do not design your recovery, someone else will!...
Common sense is not always the best guide Today I want to talk to you about the growth process and how it can sometimes go against our common sense. There's a very good reason why we tend to start any change process from the outside-in. it doesn't take a genius to...
So you want to recover from addiction? You want to lose that dependency? What is your number one commitment? Say no to drugs? Come home at a reasonable time? be more honest? I say that your number one commitment in recovery is to learn from everything! This post...
Most things exist in a form which can be thought of as a duality. Would you know what 'up' is if there was no 'down'? Dark if there was no 'light'. Left and right, wrong and right. I think you get the idea. My name is Dave Cooper and I am a recovery coach and...
What new things we have learned about this old idea I wanted to share some thoughts with you today around the idea of the ‘King Baby’. This idea has evolved a lot in recent years. I believe it is now a really valuable approach and method to have in your tool box...
4 - Self management My work in this field took a huge leap forwards when I took on board the complex nature of being a human being! I often remind my clients that when we say 'I' we are using a complex statement! So the core principle here is something like 'you are...
So one of the main principles of growth is...... growth? I know, it seems a silly thing to include. But the importance of this demands that it gets its own section. Let me first extract the principle here so that we have a context for the rest of this section. The...
So this post is on isolation but the principle could be called 'relating'. This is the second in this series on the core principles of growth into recovery from addiction. I want to continue to remind you that these are ideas that will produce personal growth and...
I have been very busy recently filming my online course (Building Recovery) and finishing my book (of the same name). So I was wanting to get back to writing my Blog and thought to myself "what are the core principles that inform all my work with clients who want to...
Calling something good that is harmful to you This is the third article in the series - Addiction as an inappropriate relationship. In this final post we will be looking at one of the worst aspects of the inappropriate relationship. Namely that it looks good but is...
Looking for something from a relationship it cannot give you This is the second of three posts where we look at addiction as an inappropriate relationship. Why deepening a relationship with a ‘dead’ or inert thing is so tempting to some and what is fundamentally...
Addiction - Being in relationship with a dead thing I define addiction as an ‘inappropriate relationship’ in all my teaching and practice. Today I want to offer you some definitions and reasons why I work that way and how you can benefit from this understanding. Here...
Raising moments above the ordinary You have many ordinary moments in your life. What makes a magic moment for you? Many times we encounter people and circumstances that never rise above the ordinary. In all fairness we must admit that we have a huge part to play in...
Families in addiction Over the past few years I have felt more and more moved to work with the families of addicted parents more than the addicts themselves. I am committed to getting the best information I can out there. Particularly for people who are often not well...
Addiction in families - A Family Illness? Addiction in families is an issue as old as addiction itself and this is the first in a series of articles relating to the family. It will offer lots of practical help and things you can do to improve the family health. You...
“The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. The one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most.” ― Thomas...
Auditing - Developing your Recovery All counselling asks you to look at the things you have been trying not to look at. Sometimes for years! Developing you Recovery from Addiction is no different, in fact it is more intensive. This is one of the reasons you may find...
“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself.”...
This is the second question in the series of planning your recovery. After asking you the first question "Is it your design"? I now want to ask you is this the right place to build recovery? Remember that you must plan your recovery, so you must ask your self...
Is it your design? Are you planning Recovery? Before you build anything there is a planning stage to complete. This stage is so important but is the first one you may be leaving out! Consider anyone trying to build a house without an architect! So you have materials...
Let me describe you You are successful, financially in business or music or media. You are doing well in most areas except that you use alcohol and cocaine and it’s getting the better of you. You are money rich and time poor so you do not have three or six months to...
The Relational View of recovery from addiction I take the ‘relational view’ on what are primarily social issues such as addiction. What does this mean? It means that your aim in treating your issue is focused on your relationships and social bonding. It means that the...
This is the third in the foundation section. In order for a foundation to be well built it must include the three areas of solidity, planning and boundaries. As we bring this section to a close, we take a look at Recovery Boundaries which are hugely important in...
In this podcast we are covering the second part of the foundation section, which is the planning. Which rooms are going to be included in this recovery building?
This is the first of three podcasts covering the 'foundation' section of the course. It is all about solidity! If you do not have that, the building falls!
In this new course I want to introduce the metaphor of a building which can help us simplify our view and visualise our task. This first talk introduces the concept and describes the course which is divided into three parts, the foundation, the first floor and...
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This Pod cast is aimed at people who are considering stopping. It offers three questions to consider before attempting to recover. If you have benefited from listening to this pod cast, consider leaving a comment and joining a discussion about the topic. I will answer...
In this Podcast we are looking at constructing the next level after the stable platform. This is the first floor and is more about balance and level headedness.
this session is all about shame and how it relates to vulnerability, intimacy and creativity. If you have created your 'stable platform' then this is huge! Shame is a cultural epidemic! As you look for ways to continue your progress, start with shame, see what...
This is the third in the 'advanced recovery' series and I am starting to look at how to engage with your own tendency to manipulate and think you know more than you do. It's all related to developing healthy relationships and will extend into the next podcast as well.
This is the second in the 'advanced recovery' series and is all about taking the FREDS idea to another level. It is now going to include emotions that are not all negative. It is about challenging ourselves to 'own' more of our wants and needs.
Relationships and Recovery from addiction Relationships and recovery go hand in hand. I would go as far to say that the quality of your relationships will equal the quality of your recovery! Let me put it another way. The effort, open mindedness and courage that you...
This podcast sets up a whole series on advanced recovery. What it is, how to achieve it and how to maintain it.
Have you ever done or said something that you later regretted? Of course you have. But when we find ourselves doing this all the time it can be a nightmare. Actually this is the typical experience of addiction! Listen to this Podcast to get an understanding of...
Where does your recovery come in your list of important things? Does it come first? Second? If it comes anywhere other than first I want to inspire you to getting it to number one on your list. I want to show you the logical reason why this must be so and I want to...
How do we create a more 'conscious' marriage? We start by reviewing what we have at the moment, which might be described as an 'unconscious' marriage. By which we mean a contract that has never been written scrutinized negotiated or agreed, and yet we are living by...
Learn to speak your partners love language to re-connect with your partner!
Having been schooled in this process, check out this podcast to make sure you have all the elements in place.
Hi. Thanks for taking the time to read this. We are on a journey of change from an unhealthy pattern of living to a healthier pattern of facing and processing difficulties. By doing this we simply ‘outgrow’ our problems! How do we do this exactly? Today I want to give...
Hi. Thanks for taking the time to read this. We are on a journey of change from an unhealthy pattern of ‘exits’ from our life to a healthier pattern of facing and processing difficulties. How do we do this exactly? Today I want to give you a method of working with...
How do you talk to yourself about yourself? What goes on in your head may be having a much greater effect on your recovery prospects than you realise. Listen to this podcast on negative self talk to get a few tips on how to change your mind.
When you made a decision to stop using how hard was it to develop your new life? Your choice of friends can be crucial. For instance drinkers tend to surround themselves with drinkers! It makes them look more normal. But what do you do with those friends when you...
Hi. Thanks for taking the time to read this. We are on a journey of change from an unhealthy pattern of ‘exits’ from our life to a healthier pattern of facing and processing difficulties. How do we do this exactly? Today I want to give you more of an understanding of...
Hi. Thanks for taking the time to read this. We are on a journey of change from an unhealthy pattern of ‘exits’ from our life to a healthier pattern of facing and processing difficulties. How do we do this exactly? Today I want to give you more of an understanding of...
This is where we take a complicated subject and keep it simple! This is such a powerful way to change your mind and it is so effective as a way of calming the states we get in. Read on.....
My approach to recovery centres around three things, relationships, communication and meaning making. So I am saying that the difficulties you have are connected to one or all of these. Communication is everything Today we are going to focus on communication and the...
Hi and thanks for taking the time to read this. I am assuming that you are an interested party in the area of recovery generally, either an addictive personality yourself, or wanting help for a loved one. Today I want to take the idea of direct and indirect...
Hi there, thank you for taking the time to read this. Today I wanted to cover in some detail the method of 'auditing'. You have probably heard the term in other contexts but we need to understand what a powerful tool this can be in the context of recovery, so let's...
Hi. Thanks for taking the time to read this. We are on a journey of change from an unhealthy pattern of ‘exits’ from our life to a healthier pattern of facing and processing difficulties. How do we do this exactly? Today I want to give you a method of how we can...
In this episode we learn the communication perspective on addiction and drug use. Thought of as an 'exit', this view offers us a way of making sense of our behavour
In this episode we look at the whole process of grieving and how it is relevant to a recovering addict.
In this episode we take a look at some ways of understanding the concept of balance and what part it plays in an authentic recovery.
Hi. Thanks for taking the time to read this. We are on a journey of change from an unhealthy pattern of exits from our life to a healthier pattern of facing and processing difficulties. How do we do this exactly? Today I want to give you a better understanding of how...
“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed...